UNLEASHED, UNCUT, UNREAD



9.14.2005

May the [fill in appropriate term] be with you

A couple years ago, my family introduced me to Belief O’Matic. It’s a 20 question quiz that attempts to prod your thoughts concerning spiritual, religious, and moral issues. Based upon your response to these questions, and the importance you assign each query, the little gnomes running through cyberspace shovel your replies into an algorithm that spits out a list of religions/philosophies to which you adhere best. Today, I decided I to revisit the gnomes.
Much to the chagrin of my grade school teachers (Sr. Jackie, especially), nothing monumental shifted in the ensuing years since I last used this tool to probe my spiritual depths. In other words, let’s just say that Secular Humanism, Unitarian Universalism, Liberal Quakers, Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants, Nontheists, and Theravada Buddhism didn’t not, not, not fit my outlook.
Try it for yourself, then run straight to the local building that houses your favored institution and convert because the Belief O’Matic reigns omnipotent and omniscient…

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Which family, your other one? I've never heard of this so called "Belief o'Matic"

Phil said...

aunt Jennifer, i believe. thanksgiving/christmas '02.

Anonymous said...

unbelievable. o'matic

Phil said...

i don't think they include mormon fundamentalism. probably shouldn't waste your time with it.