muddled mess of a manifesto

There are dark forces operating behind the scenes in this seemingly mundane world. How else can it be explained that I get to unload my mental miasma out upon the unsuspecting electronic channels of the world. I wonder how many other bloggers have written similar introductory sentences, probably many. Goes to show you how many totally sweet people there are out there.

So I’ve decided to start a blog. This noble notion was eschewed by yours truly all too often in the past, however, for a number of reasons, I’ve reneged on my sworn oath to never partake. Firstly, my perspective on technology in general has shifted. After years of living in a theoretical, minimalist, perhaps luddite universe, I’m beginning to appreciate the wonders of embracing (in a sober fashion) what could be…I realize that I’m living through one of the most incredible moments in history when technology, and electronic/remote networking in particular, is working to enhance global interconnectedness and bring about parity among nations and people. I fully acknowledge that the realization of such mindblowing notions is far in the future, or perhaps, deeply embedded in my imagination…but accessibility and knowledge of computing systems harbors far ranging promises for anyone that has a teeming curiousity, motivation, and a few lucky breaks. What I’m trying to say is that I think that’s the coolest notion, and I want to partake. Chopping my thoughts up into sizzling electrons and shuttling them to some gynormous server that has the audacity to spit them back out to anyone that gives a flying f**k is the sweetest thing I can think of. I want to take advantage of that…
Other things contributed as well. I’ve come to understand myself a little better in the last couple years and I realize that although my communication with those I’m close to can be so incredible and real at times, I’m also prone to allow gaping time gaps elapse in between. I’m poor at maintaining the day to day….although I often wish I had this with more people. Moving to the east coast, where I literally knew a couple people upon arrival, has underscored for me how much I miss and need my friends/family...and how difficult it can be to forge meaningful bonds with new people. I certainly don’t regret my move, but I’d like to find a way to bridge the gap between this and that.
Furthermore, I know i have the tendency at times to bottle up my thoughts, which leaves many wondering what the hell is going on with me. Although i am becoming increasingly more comfortable with varying mental/mood states- something i think humanity in general is less than accepting of...everybody wants everybody to be perpetually stoked about life-i now understand that it's important to me that those i'm close to have some understanding of what's going on in my mind. Anyways, I think this blog will let people see a chunk of my mind when that chunk seems too anchored in place to fall out otherwise...beware, the whole structure might collapse if enough chunks dislodge…and hear the jargon that I’m spitting like a rusted faucet in El Paso. I want dialogue, and hopefully this blog can facilitate it.

So this blog is for my friends and family (although I have a feeling some members of the family might prefer to not hear my candid speech at times). Living in DC, how can transparency not be my motto….pause to vomit and shake head….

In the spirit of catching some folks up, I will offer a brief synopsis of my life here in this introductory blog. Those that are anywhere near in touch with me can save themselves the agony by not reading on…
So here I am in DC, battling with the fact that I’m living in arguably the hippest spot in the city yet the coffee shops close at 10:00. WTF. Seriously, WTF. This could be a fortuitous turn of events, however, because I’ve discovered that one of my least favorite choch-monkey bars in the neighborhood is actually a supercool place to get a beer and relax with my computer on the off nights. So here I am. Beer eclipses coffee tonight. No worries, coffee will continue to fight the valiant fight.
I have a job. For those who followed my summer/fall saga, this constitutes no small feat. I’m an office boy at the National Academies (of Science). My group studies oceans. They are the big blue puddles you see on globes that are less well understood than most nearby (semantically speaking, the most relative of relative terms used here) objects in space. They are the things that ultimately claimed over 200,000 lives at the end of December, contain 97% of the earth's water, and determine our weather. They’re the place where at the deepest you could submerge Everest and still climb up three Taipei 101 Towers and throw in a Petronas Tower for old time sake (actually the top 28 feet of the Petronas Towers would erupt from the water but that's just superfluous radio poles anyway). The fact that i'm a cubicle rat that spends a fair amount of time shuffling through glorified paperwork renders it unnecessary for me to have a background in this stuff...but i do get to look at creepy pictures of deep sea monsters...
So that's work. Then there's life in general After a not-so-fun but instructive few months, I’ve shed a rather dark period in my life, which I won’t delve into much. Damn those winter months...Suffice it to say that my faith in human resilience has grown.
I’m finally getting back in touch with important people (unfortunately, not the kind of 'important' that will pay me a sizeable salary to sit around and get paid for this).
I’m slowly getting to know some incredible people in DC.
Music and art have regained their prominent position. I’ve run away on a number of occasions, not able to intellectually decipher how the aforementioned could provide any fulfillment, yet always returning….more assured of, and inspired by, their effect each time (can someone who understands how to diffentiate between effect/affect please contact me asap...i think i was busy substituting expletives into Shakespearian sonnets during that english class). it’s still magical to me.
I’m dating a girl that blows me away with her crazy talents, intellect, priorities and beauty. We’re working through those issues of independence, overindulgence, communication, etc. She’s the coolest, most central thing in my life.
I'm feeling warm sunshine for the first time in what seems like ages.
I'm residing with my good friend Evan from Spokane. After an extended period (for me atleast) of discovering that we both evolved (devolved?) in different ways in college, i think we're coming to appreciate each other's respective ambitions/goals. it's starting to feel like not living in the past so much, and instead, embracing what's going on now. it's copasetic and i dig it.
I’m living with the knowledge that this job won’t directly channel into anything I want to do long term…I’m also living with the knowledge that DC is not where I’d like to settle for any extended period of time….at the same time, it’s a very cool city and I have a fairly interesting job that lets me work right downtown, about three blocks off the National Mall. Aside from the financial restrictions that come from working at a non-profit, I can still pay the bills and live a pretty cool life. It’s a good situation for right now...i get to meet some interesting people and do a little traveling...definitely enough to keep me stimulated for the near future.

So what gives me the right to hop on my soap box (still swearing off the contents within) and bark at the world? Well, this free blog service does. Do it yourself if you hate me. Or don’t and don’t ever read anything I have to say. It’s beautiful that way, isn’t it.
I’m going to promise nothing from this blog, so as to not disappoint anyone. There will not be a theme. There will not be a consistent timetable of entries. There will often times be random, less-than-substantive rambling. But i think there's a bunch of interesting stuff out there to shoot the shit about, alot of which does prove important to my happiness and motivation. Perhaps some will agree with me. It’s not my fault if you log on, but i'd love it if you did. By the way, you rule if you’ve read this far.
Cheers.