Cicadas are coming!

Cicadas are coming! Cicadas are coming!
Hear them stomping their feet to battlecry drumming,
I fear bulbous red eyes; here’s a shiny doubloon,
Stop the swarms of doom from excavating my tomb!

The scientists lie and declare that they’re harmless,
Anxiety, stress; I’m becoming a Pharm mess!
They will steal young children and hold them for ransom,
They will devour your face, nomatter how handsome.

For seventeen years they have been hatching their plan,
But don’t let them eat me with their monstrous wingspan,
For seventeen years they have been plotting my death,
Give me electrocution or poison by meth.

Yeah, yeah, you prune the treetops and aerate my soil,
You claim to minimize bugs through ravenous toil,
Sing your own praises you contemporary plague,
Tell your all-male chorus it’s an onerous nag.

I dodged you back in DC and hail from the west,
So this will constitute my inaugural test,
Call me an alarmist, extremist, curmudgeon
But if need be I’ll slice ‘ya, dice ‘ya, and bludgeon.