Truth be told?
In Salman Rushdie's latest work, Shalimar the Clown, Rushdie forwards a theory-that's probably already popular in some circles-regarding JFK's assassination through one of the characters in the book:
The date is 1965. The place is India. A Kashmiri beauty seduces the recently appointed US ambassador to India, Max Ophuls, with her entrancing dance at a festival honoring the diplomat's visit north. As with all Ophuls' lustful conquests, he turns to his loyal assistant, Beaver Wood, to organize an opportunity for Max and Boonyi (the dancer) to, ummmm, 'meet'. Beaver replies with an unexpected question and comment:
"Do you have a bad back?.....because too much sex and a bad back is what got the president assassinated".Through Wood, Rushdie continues:
"The truss, sir," Wood explained. "Kennedy's back was bad to begin with, but it got so much worse because of all the screwing around that he had to wear the truss all the time. He was wearing it in Dallas and that's why he didn't fall over after the first shot hit him. he was wounded and lurched over and the truss just sat him up again, boing, and then the second bullet blew off the back of his head. You see what i'm saying, Professor, maybe if he'd had less sex, he maybe wouldn't have been wearing the truss, and then no boing, he'd just have fallen flat after being wounded; the first bullet wasn't fatal, remember, and he wouldn't have been as they say available for the second shot, and Johnson wouldn't be president. There's a moral in there somewhere, I guess, but as you don't have a bad back, Professor, it doesn't apply to you."Did promiscuity kill Kennedy? Does anyone with a bad back understand the moral here?
6 comments:
Can we talk about the real moral here (one that Rushdie is living proof of): that if you are a famous author you can marry hot models/actresses half your age:
http://weblog.imarash.com/archives/Salmon-Rushdie.jpg
Based on looking at her and how she makes other women look like trolls, I DON'T think Rushdie is trying to say that too much sex is a bad thing. God she's hot.
maybe they live in celibacy together, like all good married couples.
Only if he has erectile dysfunction (or no penis at all) would he refrain from having sex with her.
this is a clean blog that grandmothers and mormons read. i'd appreciate you not mentioning mr. rushdie's potential sexual ailments...unless we speak of something highly scientific like elephantitis, bleeding urethras, or spokane mayors.
thank you,
the management
I have to agree w/ Kristy, the wife-y is hot! Speaking of grandmothers though, my grandma has this advice to offer on the way to avoid back problems due to sex, and I quote, "Just make sure you are on the bottom." Swear to God, she did say that.
i'm experiencing this odd combination of having nothing to say and having everything to say. i'll just demurely agree with you both that his wife is hot.
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